Wednesday, August 26, 2009
in my spare time (if i ever have one), i'd love to watch: girl interrupted, read: sybil, and generally brush up on mental disorders, as interpreted by fiction and pop culture. this was actually suggested by a clinical instructor while we were on duty at the hospital, and it sounded really interesting. i thought about checking the material out since i was going to be learning about it in school anyway, and this way it would be less boring.
me..being a little crazy myself back in the day.
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Saturday, August 22, 2009
finally! the stress is over i can R-E-L-A-X bigtime! (edited)
the really fragile lacey fabric of my dress posed a LOT of opportunities for wardrobe malfunctions. it kept getting stuck to our rings! i am very proud of my dress though. amazing what you can find at thrift stores. but i cut the hemline since it used to fall at my knees and it looked, ew, long and outdated. finding the shoes was an adventure as well. my friends and i basically talked each other into buying really nice shoesies.
im totally looking forward to combing thrift stores around manila. i shall appoint myself thrift store queen. haha!
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Sunday, August 16, 2009
mariacarla boscono. i had the biggest girl crush on her back in highschool, at the height of the starving model revolution when everyone wanted to be as emaciated as those sick models. good times!
i won't deny it. i know my friends have noticed it and my folks have kept nagging me about it. yes, i'll agree this time, i HAVE been getting thinner. probably because of the stress and that i have so much to do, i don't know. and it wasn't intended like i usually do. i still kept pigging out like i always do, so losing weight was weird. along with the weight loss, i've realized something. the reason why i'm so obsessed about losing weight because it was something i was capable of doing that my peers weren't. (sorry friends, i know we all want to go dieting. haha!) but there's this certain level of fulfillment, as sick as it sounds, when you're able to do something other people aren't. even if it's just taking control of your body.
now i've moved on from the hero-worship-of-models phase. here's my girl crush of the moment.
julia roitfeld. daughter of caroline roitfeld, the paris vogue editor. like mother like daughter. damn!
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Friday, August 14, 2009
ahh..those were the days.
now all i feel is complete and utter STRESSS! it's ridiculous the sudden amount of stress i've gotten in the past week, let alone today. i knew that at some point i wouldn't be able to take any more of the pressure and that i would just break down, and that happened around 2am this morning. i officially cracked. gosh it was (so) embarrassing, good thing i was alone that time. i'm starting to think i'm not cut out for this kind of profession. oh noooo.
haha! i shall laugh it off and hold on until Sunday, when everything's over and life goes back to being easy.
♥ ♥
Saturday, August 8, 2009
fun.
if only we were this cool.
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Some things you don’t know you miss until, out of nowhere, you have them back, or have them back but back all wrong…The way, after a dream, where you’ve kissed someone who, in real life, you’ll never kiss again, maybe you’ve never kissed at all, you wake up and realize, in the throbbing pit of your stomach, how impossible it is to live without kissing them again.
— Jerry Stahl, Perv—A Love Story
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Tuesday, August 4, 2009
i can't believe how often i used to do these kissy faces in pictures! this was taken back in my freshman year when i was notorious for doing this ridiculous face in A LOT of pictures. what was i thinking. i didn't actually think this face looks cute did i? so embarrassing, i must say. i'll hide under a rock now.
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Monday, August 3, 2009
i want to feel like this again.
...or not. i have this problem of being meticulously pessimisstic. i overanalyze the things i go through and if my day isn't as "perfect" as i want it to be, i get frustrated. i just realized that when i was younger, it didn't matter to me whether i made sense or not, i just wanted to be right all the time. i wanted things done my way, i wanted life to go my way. but then i grew up, and i came to the hard conclusion that i can't always be right. there are times that i would be wrong and corrected. and it pissed me off at first, but i got used to it. i got used to life getting shitty and people being unfair. so i got around my problem by going with the wave, instead of moving against it and forcing my fuck to go the way i want it.
when life gets shitty i do the ff:
()count my blessings. i always end up realizing im waaay better off than i think.
()laugh with my friends. cause they're dope.
()listen to something. that's a given. not something that'll make me sad though.
()pray. cause God never disappoints. :)
i thought i might add eating. but i didn't cause that usually brings more problems *cough*weight gain*cough*
so now i'm basically content feeling how i feel now.
♥ ♥
Sunday, August 2, 2009
i didn't personally know the late president. i wasn't born when the EDSA revolution broke out and united thousands of Filipinos in the 80s. i guess the only similarity i have with her is that we lived during the same lifetime, partially. yet, she strikes me as someone i have known for a long time, the way people gravitate towards the endearing kindness of genuine people, how women like her seem to radiate warmth so powerful it's overwhelming.
i have not met her in person. the closest i've been to her would probably be in the same building during the time she spent in the hospital where i had my rounds. yet somehow i wish to know more about her. her life is one people only dream of living, barely a handful of them actually realize the dreams she had fulfilled. you tend to get curious, i am actually, of why she always wore the color yellow so often it came to symbolize her. it is peculiar, a better word would be fascinating, how she chose that color, the way traditional elegant women had an inclination for fine china or lilies. she simply embodied a fine role model for people of all ages and races.
she reminds me most of my mother, and my grandmother. women with children, who share the common knowledge of the importance of putting your family above all things. mothers are women who are aware of the many sacrifices one must go through at the expense of other people's happiness. i admire how mothers always put their children first before them and their need. and she, well, this country was her child; thus she put the country first. and like all mothers, she was very influential. you simply knew that a mother's words held more weight, they speak with refined wisdom of their age. a mother always knows best.
the principles she stood for were concrete examples set for us to emulate. her courage and fearlessness was one that led this country to democracy, giving us the freedom to express ourselves, giving me the freedom to blog about how i feel right now. her legacy extends beyond her time and all the generations that will follow. sometimes people are just destined for historically significant undertakings. somehow her humility and simplicity gives us hope that we too are capable of moving mountains and making gigantic changes. we are all given opportunities. we are all given a life that we have the power over. we have a choice to live a dignified life upholding values that matter the most to us. in one way or another she has made greatness seem attainable, because she's so down to earth. i haven't even spoken a word to her, yet i feel that what i'm typing now are truths that most of us would probably agree to.
i wore a yellow headband to school today.
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