i think i'll go dieting again. life's just too boring and i feel like a lost cause. i have to have a goal again. and now i'll be more specific, like the goal weight shit and everything. cause all i ever fcuking do is stuff myself with hello panda!(yuuuum naglalaway ako just thinking of it) and mcdonalds fries that are just THE BOMB. and i cant stop spending on lounge food and mini-stop food. yes i actually spend my money now, and you thought i was the ultimate kuripot. maaan im a binger. i so love food now. and if i keep loving food i might get fat. and then i'd hate myself. and i dont like that. so i guess i shall stop eating too much from now on. im now resisting the urge to cook noodles.
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my bitch of a best friend recently told me that paranoia works just like the law of energy, it cannot be destroyed, it can only be changed into some form or another. that means your cant really just stop getting paranoid of your boyf until you're full-on flirting with someone and being flirted back. man that sounds complicated but i hope people get it. so its like the feeling of being paranoid doesnt disappear, it's just translated into reckless flirting, cause i mean when youre flirting you can simply NOT worry about your boyfriend or anything since youre mind's on other things (like the guy youre flirting). but can't you just stop being paranoid WITHOUT flirting reciprocation? kailangan ba na manlandi pa ako para di ako mamroblema? cause let's face it i've no skills whatsoever in the flirting dept i only end up looking like an idiot so i dont really have any other option. and i dont really feel like flirting with anyone else. aww thats cheezy. so instead i'll defy my BBF's law. i shall stop getting fucking paranoid and still not flirt. cause i might lose my mind if i dont! i'l listen to weezer song instead. cause i like them now.