like, dope

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

im am creepishly superstitious.

i dont know why, but weird stuff always runs through my mind about how everything in this world is mystically intertwined or something, and how your actions may favor wspecific outcomes. i guess i want to believe that fate can be controlled. not getting it?

exhibit a:
whenever we cross this certain street i only look at the houses one side of it cause i think it's bad luck if i look on the other side.

exhibit b:
i never play this tape i have cause i feel i'd get a headache if i do.

exhibit c:
i think writing about stuff in my journal is baad luck. cause things always mess up when i wrote in the diary i had back then. this is why i blog. haha.

see how totally bizarre i am? it even freaks me out. it's scary and stupid, and i do want to stop it, but i guess some habits never die. its my own way of maintaining order in my life, like that kid christopher in this book i read. at times i even think im quite like him, in how i think of how one thing leads to another til my head is just too full of information.

maybe im just bored. i need more books to read.

♥ ♥

Monday, May 12, 2008

hmm so last week we went to some depressed area for our summer practicum. we got to build houses and talk to the people living there and stuff. well we mostly just pigged out on popsicles and street food and coke. it was a lot of fun; though our neighborhood was hostile and i got really dark like shit. as long as i was with the right person i was okay. so anyways there was this cute kid i was really fond of, so i decided to give her a stuffed bunny. then i just found out that the bunny belonged to my sister. harhar. ang galing ko talaga.

i guess the only sad part was that i didnt have any realization, nothing that would change my perspective on my life and how i live it, or i would go about treating other people. its quite upsetting cause i feel that these are the things that i should be able to gain out of this experience. i am still the selfish, immature brat that ive always been.

why am i being so cheesy about this? i dont know.

♥ ♥

Thursday, May 8, 2008

sometimes what people feel is rather unquestionable, at the same time unfathomable. you never really know why or how you love a person. you just, do. there was never a doubt in my mind, i just kept on loving. when i felt that things were unfair, when i questioned, when i even seemed hurtful and unresponsive, my love never faltered. it may sound strange, but i didnt love you any less whenever things were getting difficult. being with you is how it has always been so far, and i couldnt imagine it any other way.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

♥ ♥

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